What to put on a Christmas list when you cannot think of anything
The difficulty is rarely that there is nothing you want. It is that being asked directly empties your head, and the only things that come to mind are either too expensive to say out loud or too dull to bother anybody with. Here is a way through that does not involve scrolling a shop.
Start with your year, not with the shops
Opening a shop and waiting to be inspired is the slowest possible method, and it produces lists of things you do not especially want that happen to have been on the front page.
Work backwards from your own year instead. Three questions do most of the work: what did you replace this year because the old one finally broke, what did you not buy because it felt indulgent, and what did you borrow from somebody and then think about again afterwards.
That last question is unreasonably productive. The thing you borrowed and kept thinking about is almost always a better present than anything you would have found by browsing, because somebody already proved it was worth owning.
Seven categories that are not simply "stuff"
Work down this list rather than trying to think of presents in the abstract. Most people find four or five things before they reach the end.
- The upgrade. Something you already own and use constantly, in a better version — the kitchen knife, the umbrella, the pillow, the headphones. Low risk, because your daily use has already proved the need.
- The consumable you ration. The good coffee, the olive oil you buy the small bottle of, the proper socks. Nothing is wasted and nothing takes up space, which matters to anybody who already has enough things.
- The thing you would never buy yourself. This is what presents are actually for. It is usually not expensive — it is just slightly frivolous, which is precisely why it needs somebody else to buy it.
- The unglamorous fix. The drawer that does not close, the missing bike light, the picture that has leaned against the wall for two years. Deeply satisfying to receive and almost never guessed.
- Something to do rather than own. A concert, a class, a day out, a meal with the person giving it. Costs the same as an object and is remembered considerably longer.
- The contribution. One part of something larger — a share of a bigger item, or money towards a trip. Works well when several people want to club together, and it stops five separate presents arriving.
- The unambiguously boring one. Socks, batteries, the specific screwdriver. Put one on. It gives the person who genuinely cannot spend much a dignified option, and you will use it.
Spread the prices on purpose
A list that is all one price does not work, because the people reading it are not all in the same position. Aim for something in each band below. The figures are illustrative — shift them to whatever the bands mean among your own family.
| Band | Who it is for | What belongs there |
|---|---|---|
| Under 10 | Colleagues, a secret santa, a child spending their own money | A book, a consumable, one good pair of socks |
| 10 to 30 | Friends, cousins, anybody buying for several people | The frivolous thing, the small upgrade, the unglamorous fix |
| 30 to 75 | Parents, siblings, a partner | The real upgrade, an experience, the thing you would not buy |
| Over 75 | One person, or several clubbing together | The big item — always with a note that a contribution is fine |
If the top item is genuinely expensive, say explicitly that part of it is welcome. Most people will not work that out on their own, and the ones who would have contributed quietly go and buy something else instead.
Peter's Christmas Wishlist 🎄
6 gift ideas ·Christmas ·in 58 days ·1 already reserved
Boss Guitar Pedal
Adidas SL72
A nice bottle of Rioja
Reserva or older, I trust your taste
Guitar Strings
Elixir Nanoweb, 10–46 if possible
Ideas by age and price band
Categories rather than products, on purpose: a category is something the giver can shop for in their own town, and nothing here has an affiliate link. Pick the band, then write your own version of the line.
| Band | A child | A teenager | An adult |
|---|---|---|---|
| Under €10 | Stickers, a comic, a bath toy, the sweets they are allowed | A paperback, a phone cable that works, good socks, a bar of the chocolate they like | Coffee beans, a jar from the deli, a plant, a paperback |
| €10 to €25 | A board game, a puzzle, a craft kit with everything in the box | A cinema voucher for two, a water bottle they will actually carry, earphones | A bottle you would not buy yourself, a candle from a maker, a notebook |
| €25 to €50 | Building bricks, a scooter helmet, a book series in one box | A hoodie in the right size, the game they have named, a day out with a friend | A good kitchen tool, a class, a scarf, a meal out |
| €50 to €100 | A bike helmet and lights, a telescope, a year of a magazine | Trainers in the right size, a concert ticket, a decent backpack | A piece of kit for a hobby, a contribution to a weekend away, a lamp |
| Over €100 | A bike, named with the size — happy for people to club together | A phone or a console, as a contribution | One thing, named precisely, as a contribution towards it |
If you would rather start from a finished list and delete, the Christmas wishlist templates are eight lines each for children, adults, the family and a Secret Santa.
When you genuinely want nothing
Saying "nothing, really" is honest and it does not work. The people asking are going to buy something regardless, and what they buy without guidance is the thing that ends up in a cupboard.
The move is not to invent wants. It is to redirect. Name something consumable, something small and something that is not an object at all — an afternoon, a meal, a hand with a job you have been putting off. All three are true answers to "what do you want" and none of them adds to what you own.
A charity donation is the other honest answer, and it is worth naming the specific charity rather than the category. "Something for a food bank" leaves the other person doing research they did not ask for.
Writing the list for somebody else
For a child, the list is mostly a service to relatives who are guessing at sizes, reading ages and what is already in the house. Write down the size, the age range and the specific version, because "a scooter" and the correct scooter are two different presents, and one of them gets returned. The wishlist for kids page covers this age by age.
For a partner or a parent who refuses to say what they want, watch for a fortnight instead of asking again. People announce their wants constantly in the form of complaints — the thing that is broken, the thing they keep borrowing, the thing they mention every time it comes up.
Keep a child’s list and your own separate rather than combining a household into one page. Relatives usually want to buy for one person, and a merged list makes them work out which half is which.
If the list is for a Secret Santa rather than for the family, keep it to three or four things inside the budget. The Secret Santa generator draws the names without an account and gives each person a page to write theirs on.
How many things, and when to send it
Eight to twelve is the range that works. Fewer than about six and the first two people to look have taken everything, leaving everybody else with nothing to choose from. More than fifteen and it stops reading as a list of things you want and starts reading as a catalogue.
Mark one or two as favourites. It is the single most useful thing you can do for the person who asked, because the honest question underneath "what do you want" is usually "what do you want most".
Send it in the last week of November or the first week of December. Any earlier and it is forgotten; any later and the people who wanted to order something have run out of delivery time.
Leaving the list open afterwards is fine and sensible — on a list like this one, adding something in mid-December cannot spoil anything, because your own view never shows what has already been taken.
For the fridge, the printable Christmas list lays the same list out on one page, with a column for whoever is buying to put their name.
Put your list somewhere the whole family can see it, and let them reserve privately so nothing turns up twice.
Create a wishlistThe dates that matter
A list has a delivery date as well as a sending date. Work back from these.
| Date | What happens | Have the list out by |
|---|---|---|
| Late November | Black Friday, and the start of online ordering | The week before, so people can use the sales |
| Mid-December | Last posting dates for parcels | A fortnight before, for anything with a link |
| The last week | Shops only; delivery is over | Too late for links, fine for the printed list |
A list that stays open all month costs nothing, because your own view never shows what has been taken.
What to leave off
Clothes in a size you are hoping to be rather than the size you are. Anything that only works if the giver has taste identical to yours. Anything you would be annoyed to receive in the wrong variant, unless you are willing to specify the variant exactly.
Also leave off anything you are actually about to buy yourself. A list is not a holding pen — if you need it in November, buy it in November. The item that sits on a list for two years because you keep nearly buying it is the one that makes the whole list feel stale.
Put your list somewhere the whole family can see it, and let them reserve privately so nothing turns up twice.
Create a wishlistHow many things should be on a Christmas list?
Eight to twelve. Fewer and the first two people take everything; more and it reads as a catalogue rather than a list of things you actually want.
What should I put on a Christmas list if I want nothing?
Redirect rather than invent. Name something consumable, something small, and something that is not an object at all — a meal, an afternoon, help with a job. All three are honest answers that add nothing to what you own.
Should I include expensive things on my list?
Yes, if the list also contains inexpensive ones. Add a note saying a contribution towards a large item is welcome, or several people who would have clubbed together will quietly buy something else.
When should I send my Christmas list?
Late November or the first days of December. Earlier is forgotten, later leaves no time for anything that has to be delivered.
Is it better to ask for experiences than things?
For anybody who already owns enough, usually yes. An experience costs the giver the same and is remembered far longer. Put at least one on the list even if the rest are objects.
Can I add to my list after I have shared it?
Yes, and it is worth doing. Because your own view of the list never shows which gifts are taken, opening it in December to add something cannot spoil what is already arranged.
How do I stop two people buying the same present?
Share one list that people can reserve from. Visitors see which gifts are already claimed; you do not, so the duplication is solved without the surprise being.
